No one tells the truth about love and relationships better than comedian Whitney Cummings. Don’t believe it? Check out her unique and hilarious thoughts on love…
On Sexy costumes: Guys want us to dress up in costumes now. Next time your man asks you to dress up in a costume, go into the bathroom. Tell him you’re going to slip into something more comfortable… come out in a wedding dress. He’ll love it.
On Schoolgirl outfits: Guys always want women to be sexy schoolgirls. You want me to be a little girl? I already cry every day. You want me to be a schoolgirl? Pack me a lunch.
On Fantasies: I had a guy say to me once, “I want you to strip for me.” You want me to do the stripper fantasy? You want me to be emotionally unavailable and take your money? I’ve been doing that since we freaking met. All I need is body glitter and a crappy sun tattoo, and I’m ready to rock this!
On Turn-ons: Women’s magazines have these articles that are like, “How to turn on your guy.” He’s a guy. Take off a sock.
On Role-play: Guys always want to do the role-play fantasies where they’re authoritative and the girl is weak, like doctor/nurse or lawyer/secretary. You’re just reminding me of all the jobs you don’t have. How about instead of pretending to be a doctor, just go be a doctor.
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