10 Signs

10 Signs… You're watching too much Reality TV

By Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran

1. When you meet a guy, your first thought is: WWPST (what would Patti Stanger think)?

2. You put your cell phone on speaker and use it like a walkie-talkie.

3. You have a cold? Impossible! You've already won immunity.

4. Your boyfriend burned the toast, and you say, "Please pack your knives and go." It was a joke, sweetie! A joke!

5. You hate all your friends. Wait, that's not normal?

6. You keep having dreams about... Pauly D. Yikes!

7. What's that yapping? Oh, right, your two-pound dog, Jiggy-Jackpot.

8. You're 92 percent sure that your clueless new coworker is actually the CEO in disguise.

9. Even your "flats" are at least four inches.

10. And of course: Indecision about which tiara to wear makes you late for your hoarders support group. Shoot!

10 Things

10 Things... Not worth feeling one bit bad about By Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran

1. Your kid sister getting married before you.

2. Letting the elevator door close, even though you maybe (or maybe not!) heard footsteps approaching.

3. That weird look your coworker gave you in the hall. Probably just gas.

4. Missing your friend's third baby shower. How many times can you fly to Des Moines?

5. Cursing in front of your parents. Eff it. We're all adults here.

6. Your strange sneeze.

7. Falling asleep before taking our clothes off.

8. Every plant you've ever killed. May they rest in peace.

9. The way your hair curls. Or lies flat. Or speaks to you in tongues. Live with it!

10. Anything you came in second for. Consider it MOTIVATING.