10 Signs

10 Signs… You're watching too much Reality TV

By Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran

1. When you meet a guy, your first thought is: WWPST (what would Patti Stanger think)?

2. You put your cell phone on speaker and use it like a walkie-talkie.

3. You have a cold? Impossible! You've already won immunity.

4. Your boyfriend burned the toast, and you say, "Please pack your knives and go." It was a joke, sweetie! A joke!

5. You hate all your friends. Wait, that's not normal?

6. You keep having dreams about... Pauly D. Yikes!

7. What's that yapping? Oh, right, your two-pound dog, Jiggy-Jackpot.

8. You're 92 percent sure that your clueless new coworker is actually the CEO in disguise.

9. Even your "flats" are at least four inches.

10. And of course: Indecision about which tiara to wear makes you late for your hoarders support group. Shoot!